In Which I am a Terrible Journalist

I am an awful journalist.

No, no, this is no modesty on my part. I'm very happy to tell anyone who'll listen about my various talents and achievements, no, this is based in fact.

Like the fact that the difference between my final year of undergrad and my current masters is that in the former, stress was a great motivator, I got stressed and then wanted to finish my work. However, in the latter, I have found that stress is merely leading to avoidance. I simply am not motivated to do the work right now for any other reason than it will get me a masters at the end of it.

Not the best reason I hear you thinking, well yes, exactly. That's a terrible reason to put myself through a stressful and intensive year of university.

The sign that a kind of work is right for you is not that you don't feel the pressure, but that the pressure isn't debilitating, your enthusiasm for the work needed is what wins the day. For me, when trying to write journalistic articles, my only enthusiasm is for when, after it's finished, I can think about philosophy again, or do some writing of my own.

Therein, I believe, lies the rub, the writing I am doing for this course does not feel like it's properly my own, I have none of the usual precious protectiveness about it that I would do for one of my stories or peices of music.

One thing I have gathered about journalism so far is that to do it, you need to be utterly committed. God knows I complain enough when I see journalists being lazy with their subject matter - you've got to be able to do more than just churn stuff out, you've got to be a bloodhound, to follow the stories wherever they go and gather insight along the way.

In theory, I love the idea of this, but in practice, it's incrediably dull for me. Some of you may know I've been considering going back to philosophy, my old academic dominatrix, and doing a Ph.D. I'm still not sure about this, as it seems all I ever do in academia is distract myself from what I'd really love to be doing, which is writing full time.

That's not to say I don't love studying philosophy in a way that journalism will never match, but it's a bit of a johnny-come-lately in terms of my obsessions. Writing was always the goal; whether it be comedy, fiction, commentary or the occasional poem.

On a positive note it's valueable to be able to say I have learned something from the course I'm on, and the next term looks to be a far more enjoyable experience.

A Correction...

It was pointed out to me by a legally-minded friend of mine that legal limits are, in legal use, pretty much based on a common sense approach (unlike the prosecution of student protestors...), so the sense of finality about legal limits I gave in my previous post was incorrect.

So, if you, for some mad reason, wish to re-read the previous post, do so in mind of this. I think that its best to think of it as a response to the kind of tory thinking which leads people to suggest that 14 year olds should be prosecuted for having sex with each other rather than a comment on legal realities.