The Myth of Manflu

This article was originally written for the Dundee students' magazine The Magdalen and appeared somewhere in the middle of 2011. I thought it would dust it off as it's one I'm quite happy with, and (I think) is still very relevant. More up-to-date posts will follow soon. Promise. 

It’s become a mainstay of commentary on men in the media. Manflu, the woman in the advert says, rolling her eyes in a “you know what I’m talking about, girls” kind of way. As I have approached what society deems adulthood, I have been introduced to this term in what I can only describe as a very uncomfortable way. It was like turning 18 and suddenly realising that the adults always invited at least one alien to their dinner parties and being asked to shake its tentacle – I wasn’t sure this was entirely right, but I went along with it anyway. When I was younger, it was all fairly straightforward, if I was ill there were procedures to go through to try and get better, and people only challenged me on it if I was supposed to be doing a test that day. But when thrust into the adult world, I found myself starting to be told to “man-up” and found some people rolling their eyes at my illness in a sort of pathetic aping of the advert-people. I was all of a sudden being told from some quarters that I had manflu, and to begin with I honestly didn’t know what on earth they were on about. I was just… ill! What the hell did being a man have to do with it?

So what is manflu anyway? Wikipedia defines it as “the pejorative term that refers to the idea that when many men have a cold, they exaggerate and claim they have the flu.” That clears that up then I suppose, move on. Well, no, let’s not move on. As much as anything, this wouldn’t be very interesting to read if I just copied everything from Wikipedia, but also let’s take a closer look at what’s really going on here. The idea of “manflu” is an odd one, because it’s a male stereotype which seems to make men out to be in a position of weakness, a little pathetic. Woohoo! We all say. It’s a victory against gender roles! Men are equally as capable of whining as women, in fact, more so! Well, hang on; let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here. Manflu is defined as a deception on the part of the man, a way to trick the people around him into feeling more sympathetic for his plight. Wait a minute! He’s not being pathetic and whiny at all, he’s being sneaky! He’s a Machiavellian genius attempting to wring more than his fair share of sympathy out of his friends and family!

You see, far from subverting gender rôles, the myth of manflu tries to reinforce them. It’s all about trying to define what a “man” actually is. If there is the idea of there being this big generalised concept of manflu which can be attributed to a large section of the male population, there has to be an idea of fixed male attributes to begin with. If you’re going to try and make sweeping generalisations about a group, you need to have an idea of what that group is. You know, things like the Jews are all secretly loaded because they’re greedy and scrimping, gay men are always dressed well because they always pay attention to fashion and journalists always make stuff up because they’re lazy. If men have “manflu” it’s because all men have certain traits that make them likely to become such lying bastards.

It’s very telling that the term “manflu” is so often coupled with the equally odious term “man up”. The assumption being that if a male is complaining about being ill he is whining and needs to act more like a real man. A “real man”, you see, isn’t supposed to complain when he is ill. So wait, men pretend to have flu because they want attention, but a “real man” doesn’t act up when he’s poorly? There’s some difference between some men (who whine when they are ill) and “real men” who never whine? What’s a “real man” then? We’ve already seen he doesn’t complain about being ill, so what are his other traits?

Well, if you believe that annoying advert for male perfume on FX, real men wear pink. If you watch the ad, however, real men are also a number of other things, unattainably muscular for a start, hairless and constantly gallivanting naked around expensive-looking penthouse apartments with scantily-clad women. Now I don’t know about the men reading this, but personally, I’m not particularly fit, waxing me would take, well, weeks and frankly, I have more important things to do than show lingerie models around flats I could never afford, it’s just impractical. The website AskMen.com (which is always good for some good old fashioned gender rôle reinforcing) defines a “real man” as someone who “doesn’t moan, doesn’t complain, doesn’t get sick…” Seriously? A real man has Wolverine-like healing abilities?! When was this instituted? There’s not being a hypochondriac, and then there’s the moronic idea that nothing can ever injure you. AskMen goes on (and on, and on) claiming that “a real man is macho; a real man is tough; a real man doesn't show emotions. A real man is the backbone of his family and doesn't have time to be weak. If spiders scare you, you'll never be a real man.” Well, at least I’m not scared of spiders, wouldn’t want to be totally one of those, y’know, fake men. Terrifyingly, the article suggests to us that if life is being a “b*tch” (oh they’re so coy) one is advised to “slap it and move on.” I’ll be backing away slowly now.

Sadly the insane matchopocalypse of AskMen.com is not an isolated case. These ideas about the kind of person a man “should be” are still very prevalent in our culture, it would have to be, otherwise being able to say things like all a man’s “personal hygiene needs must be taken care of by a woman” (no really, they say that too, you can look it up) would not be acceptable, certainly not on a fairly mainstream site like AskMen. The fact is that this kind of batshit lunacy still exists and is still absorbed by so many men. The call of “manflu” is just another way for people to reinforce the idea that men shouldn’t be complaining about being ill, and if they are, they must obviously be exaggerating. This takes on a darker meaning than just purely in the realm of social power-relations when we realise that these kinds of ideas are detrimental to men’s health. Men are statistically far less likely than women to go to the doctor if they feel ill and routinely die years earlier than women. This social pressure for men to just “man up” and “deal with it” seriously effects people’s lives meaning men are less likely to pick up on something serious and, obviously, suffer for it. Let’s face it guys, we all get ill, and its not fun – obviously it gets annoying if someone’s complaining about it all the time, but we shouldn’t be telling people that just because they’ve got external genitals that they’re not allowed to feel ill. Basically my message for the men reading this is next time someone tells you to “man up” or that you’ve just got “manflu” – sneeze on them. Like really evacuate your nose all over them. Then call them a sexist. I’m all about the justice.